Tales from the front lines... with some added drama

It's 8:30 in the morning, and you and your coworkers are already in the office, venti-sized coffees in hand, ready to start. The team is never in the office anymore, and certainly not this early. Jason is out of character, seemingly rehearsing lines as if he is about to audition for a play, all while knowing he will be responsible for walking through employee onboarding evidence this morning.

You've circled the dates on your calendar for months, and then they arrive. Like a scene out of the 1999 film Office Space, the Bobs walk into the building's front entrance. You can see them from the window of the boardroom. The executives always claim this conference room, but they feel bad for the team that is about to sit through 4 days of interrogation.

This story’s antagonists, our road warriors

Maddie notices that the auditors are dressed in suits and ties. Did no one tell them that the company’s name is “Field Day”? Most of the staff comes to the office in athletic wear. Immediately, an inferiority complex creeps in, and the team starts flipping through their printout of the standard, wondering if workplace attire could be a finding.

The part-time receptionist is stuttering her words. You sat down with her 15 minutes earlier and walked her through the exact procedure she should have been following for the last 3 years of her employment. One hello, two who are you here to see, three can I see some ID, and four please follow the prompts on the iPad to complete sign-in. The door is open to the conference room, and you all sit quietly, acting like you are working on your laptop but actually hoping the weakest link in the chain doesn’t misstep before the audit opening meeting can even take place.

Good afternoon, welcome to Field Day! Errr… I mean good morning!

The Bobs chuckle. Phew, looks like they have some humor and semblance of humanity to them. We are off.

Can I ask whom you are here to visit with today?

Jason hears the question and vaults his arm to the sky to wave at Bob 1 and Bob 2. Bob 1 returns a one-finger wave and tells the receptionist that it is that group in the conference room.

Great, can I see some ID to verify you are on my list?

Of course, they are on your list. She pretends to click on her monitor while the Bobs are hovering over the ledge of the front desk.

Bob 1 shows his driver’s license. Bob 2 pulls out an employee badge with a picture and name issued by his company.

Curveball. Is this some type of test? Why did Bob 2 not show a driver’s license or maybe, and I mean maybe, a passport? Can we accept that employee badge as a form of identification?

Umm, okay, looks good, and I see both of your names here in my system.

Bob 2 returns a smirk to Bob 1 before returning his employee badge to his wallet.

Dang it, we got played. Was this a stress test? Is that in-scope? Are you really going to issue a finding to our part-time receptionist? She might actually cry.

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We are all about creating awareness while poking fun. Will your team avoid the office with a 10-foot pole but is the last to leave the happy hour? This newsletter might be for them.


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